Looking for Strength

One day there will be this unexpected living figure gently lurking into your soul;
to fill your incompleteness, to swallow your flaw, and take them as it is in the name of perfect match. 

Just another day to pass by daydreaming the so-called one day.

Just another night with the attempts not to overthink at this very hour.

And when this verse, "There is no power & no strength except with Allah" whispers along with anxiety and doubt I keep in melancholy,

then I know I can at least try to pass another day and night with a bit of ease.

Facing Calamity with Iman

We have to have that closeness to Allah that when He plans something for you and me, even if it is painful, He doesn't do it for anything except love. You always say Allah is Ar-Rahman, but do you really feel Allah is Ar-Rahman when you have difficulty?

He doesn't end your problem as long as you're still alive. If problems were going to go away just because we have iman, then the problems for the prophets would've gone away a lot sooner than to you and me.

You keep thinking Allah is punishing you, that's why this calamity is happening. That moment when you have the best impression of Allah and being able to maintain your love, that's when He guides your heart.

Summary of Friday khutbah from one of my Gurus, Nouman Ali Khan.

Clik here for YouTube link that's worth your time watching.

Amongst Griefs

i envy softness in deepest gloom
far much to the bottom of soul

there goes a tip
and a lively feathery greeting
gracefully stroking with its fluff

to be called as calmness
tuning down lunatic mushy snore
each strand tears my inner open

and clog for we have holes in our hearts
tickling expectations no more

such desire i by far fail to reach
and the last breath calls names i carry
to the eternal softness i shall await

written on December 1 2017

Seduction of Democratic Rights

Anyone can talk about politics, even if one was not trained to deliver arguments in proper way. Who said that to be politically correct you must have a degree in politics or social science? Nah. Our way of thinking is just as logical as those who went to school to study in-depth state and nation dynamics from history to current issue. We don't need to go through classes to present our research paper because our argument in social media is just as correct.

Anyone can talk about politics, even if the discussion is circling around the most trivial matter. When a random individual, or a political figure from the opposition party we dislike, makes a mistake which doesn't even offend us in any way, we'll go ahead bashing them because we feel like it's an issue we need to stand up for. In the name of democracy and the freedom of expression, duh.

Anyone can talk about politics, even if one doesn't have the ability to cross-check source of news. Why bother reading a bunch of news articles since we can always be informed through buzzing facebook post? Those broadcasted pictures have conveyed a concluded information anyway. All we have to do is to buzz it even more religiously before legal authority confirms a case. Attention! Our reaction does matter since it's what makes us belong to a society.

Anyone can talk about politics, just because why not, just because this-country-is-my-school-of-thoughts, just because foreseeing political future is more beneficial than rereading history, just because asal bunyi is fun.

It's a brainy world where opinion speaks louder than reasonings, that people love their own truth instead of comprehending the bigger picture. In conclusion, anyone can talk about politics for the sake of democratic rights.

An Autumn Reminder

That day was the day when I would be departing to Seoul for a short vacation with my family. I was killing time around 4-5pm with nothing else to do (finished packing already) so I decided to read Qur'an translation and tafseer, considering reading its translation required more specific time in order to gain precise comprehension.

Since it was a translation which I didn't read sequentially, I just randomly opened the Qur'an and I stumbled upon Surah Hadid. I kept reading and reading, taking notes, and browse for some YouTube videos about its tafseer. Until then I read this verse.

"Know that the life of this world is but amusement and diversion and adornment and boasting to one another and competition in increase of wealth and children - like the example of a rain whose [resulting] plant growth pleases the tillers; then it dries and you see it turned yellow; then it becomes [scattered] debris." (57:20)

It may seem funny or just a plain coincidence but I learnt about this analogy right before I experienced my first East Asian autumn ever where foliage was easy to spot. The day after, when I arrived at Seoul, I was stunned by the beauty of colorful trees and its scattered foliage laid underneath. I pleased my eyes with the precise analogy of life mentioned in Qur'an; beautiful trees turned red or yellow, in which the foliage would become not a living thing anymore. Another gentle reminder about how nothing in this world would last forever, not even the good things about it.

some wordly beauties might be blinding....

....until we ask ourselves, what's all of that for?

Bottom line is, the fact that I was able to open my eyes to enjoy another beauty of Allah's creation while being made to believe about His reminder for our own good, is clearly a blessing which words cannot explicitly express.

More importantly, selalu ada perumpamaan dan waktu untuk membuktikan firmanNya. We just have to look around.

Trials and Temptations

Lately I've learnt that being a faithful believer has no point if I can't befriend peacefulness.

I clearly can't convince everyone about faith and principle I refer to, and I used to think it was the hardest part while practicing changes. But then to keep on walking on the path I've chosen, even without really caring about what other people think, gives a different kind of challenge.

Maybe that's the whole point, kalau proses untuk istiqomah sendirian punya sensasi tersendiri. Sometimes bothering is needed solely to make sure we're still on track, not to start such endless battle of making everyone to be on the same page.

So, yeah, that's about it.

Looking up to My Grandma

Omi is 87, knows too well about how to greet people with sweet smile and sincere friendliness as we spot her with nice dress and red lippy on. Been dedicating her life for ibadah, taking care of her beloved family, and contributing to society.

A couple of days ago she said, "I don't know anyone else who's happier than me. I tried to look at my life; husband, children, grandchildren, the whole family....how my life has been so complete that it's always fulfilled with happiness." as the night ended and she went to bed after receiving tons of prayers and gratitude that day.

Family trip to Nagari Aie Angek, Bukittinggi, inspired me to write about her. She's indeed a classy woman.

Oh another thing for sure, Allah knows how close she is with Him that He always shines her with love and caring souls around. Sehat selalu Omi sayang ❤