Analogy of an Unspoken Jam

when the ground is smeared with warmth of morning sunbeam
it never bothers the sun to ever do
yet it still does

when the sky is painted with sparks of night lights
it never bothers her to express such adoration
yet she still does

because when everyone is looking away
ground surrenders to the beauty of sun
as sky gives in to the colorful night:

witnessed by her who can only draw an analogy of an unspoken jam

Written on March 31 2017

How Life Treats My Capability of Loving

I used to believe that marriage was one of the hardest thing to bear. I kept thinking, how is one supposed to fully understand the importance of dealing with a spouse they barely know for less than half of their lives, in hopes to recreate a perfect household with unpredictable number of children?

But then, at the same time, love poured its truth to me and got me showered with kindness and sincerity, on and on. Just when I was about to close my eyes, such unexpected memory blew its hope and rebuilt logic. Thousand clips of my life recapped in seconds; with my parents' shadow following in each step I took, and my brother's laughter as a comforting melody throughout my journey whichever way I went to.

Suddenly I became a doubtful person with optimism hidden in the back of my carved heart that said: que sera, sera. I considered to stop believing anything that could destroy my capability of loving, for I probably will find a pen to write a new chapter of my life with.

A Feminist, who Happens to be a Muslim

Selamat hari #Kartini! Keywords of the day; feminism, women, gender equality. Not that I'm such an expert (bah, not even close), the idea of being a Muslim feminist has come across this mind since day one and I like talking about this. No shame.

There is this concern on how feminism often contradicts with the fact that some life decisions among women are not seen as an empowering decision whatsoever.

I don't think forcing any women to comply to a particular standard of living defines how feminism should work. Because women have rights to do what she's good at, without prejudice or status quo overshadowing her path. Because, sometimes, choosing not to carry out women's rights the way other women do, is also human rights.

And this matter may sound even more interesting if we relate feminism with Islam, as women are often labeled as the inferior gender due to women position in family or marriage. Maybe this will sound merely as a justification that comes from a Muslim woman. Because I for one think that some limitations on Muslim women aren't considered as oppression, but merely a significant role given as rewarding and valued choice. And it is highly essential to stop comparing which life decision defines feminism the most as it can lead to misconception and counterproductive meaning.

Shout out to women in our lives.

Only Once in Your Life....

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement.

They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are.

The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you.

You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end.

Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”

I was on my goodreads account, browsing for popular quotes for no clear reasons, and found this undoubtly beautiful piece of mind by Bob Marley.

This makes me feel hopeful somehow, yet again.